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The Through-A-Goose School of Internet Marketing Marketing Articles | December 3, 2001
Yesterday you were a vacuum bag salesman in SouthPiddleville. Today you're the Vacuum Bag King of the Internet!And me? I'm your customer. Maybe.The Through-A-Goose School of Internet Marketing holds t...


Yesterday you were a vacuum bag salesman in South
Piddleville. Today you're the Vacuum Bag King of
the Internet!

And me? I'm your customer. Maybe.

The Through-A-Goose School of Internet Marketing
holds that certain e-commerce websites would be
better off streamlining their designs so they can
fast-track visitors through the sales process and
send them on their way rather than befuddling them
with a dizzying array of branding gimmicks and
sticky-site gadgets... and sending them on their
way.

Once you're in a goose's system, the thinking
goes, there's only one way out. There are no
options or choices, no weighty decisions Antonio Brown Black Jersey , no wrong
turns, no time for doubt, no chance of error. In
and out. Zip zam zooey.

A goosed website should be just as slick. The
process should be so smooth and fast that the
actual purchase practically precedes the decision
to purchase.

In this light, here are ten thoughts about your
vacuum bag website that threaten to keep our
relationship from blossoming into a completed
transaction:

---

1. OVER-STRETCHED METAPHORS

It's not ~really~ a mall or a store or even a
kiosk. If anything, it's an interactive brochure.
If it starts talking or playing music Derek Carr Black Jersey , I get
scared and run away. And that off-the-shelf flash
intro doesn't really get my vacuum bag juices
flowing either.

---

2. OFF-TOPIC BET-HEDGING

Do I follow that online casino banner after I buy
my vacuum bags? Or shall I risk blowing my entire
twelve dollar vacuum bag budget there?

---

3. OOZING NEEDINESS

You seem a little too happy to see me. I'm worried
that if I buy something from you, you'll invite me
home for supper with the wife and kids. That's more
commitment than I care to make for vacuum bags.

---

4. RABID INFO-SUCK

You're assaulting me with pop-up windows because
you want my email address so you can inform me
when you make changes to your vacuum bag website.
Do I have that right?

---

5. LIMP USP

Google informs me that I can buy vacuum bags from
any of one hundred eighty-three thousand, six
hundred and seventy-five sites. Your Unique
Selling Proposition is why I'm gonna pick yours.
If your USP is a Free Vacuum Bag Industry Update


6. DEMOGRAPHIC MYOPIA

If I came to buy vacuum bags, do you really think
the black and red porn-palace motif is
appropriate? Do vacuum bags have another use I'm
not aware of? (Don't answer that!)

---

7. MORE IS LESS

Vacuum bags may be your life Bo Jackson Black Jersey , but to us normal
people they're... well, vac. Cheap Jerseys China Cheap Jerseys Wholesale Cheap Mens Jerseys Cheap Kids Jerseys Cheap Youth Jerseys Cheap Jerseys China Wholesale Jerseys China Cheap College Jerseys China Cheap Jerseys China Cheap Hockey Jerseys